In elementary school I was. I had friends, even boyfriends. I was “in,” though being in wasn’t a big deal then. I was in a writing club. I made good grades. I outran the fastest boy in school. I was definitely good enough.
Four elementary schools fed into our junior high. But only one of those schools was the right one. I did not go to the right elementary school.
So what else is new? Junior high/middle school is torture for everyone. But a recent conversation with my husband as we walked the beach gave me a startling revelation: That junior high discovery has followed me through my entire life.
A few examples:
High school: I wasn’t good enough (read, popular enough) to be elected editor of the school newspaper, so I had to settle for copy editor.
College: I wasn’t good enough to be selected as a Goodfellow on campus, though I had as many or more activities and contributions to the university as others who were chosen.
Writing: I am a pretty good writer and editor, but not really great. I have never been as good as I would like to be.
In love: I broke an engagement to follow God’s leading. Surely a new love would follow. I felt not good enough as I waited nine years for my (wonderful) husband.
Parenting: My first baby cried for 4 months. I could not comfort that child. There was no way I was good enough as a mother.
Homemaking: Well, we don’t need to go there. I mostly don’t care that I’m not good enough in this arena. Reading to my children was much higher priority than cleaning, et al. Writing is a higher priority now. Even in cooking, which I’m pretty good at, I find myself pointing out what is wrong with a dish so people know I know it isn’t good enough.
In so many ways—I could name many more—I have told myself, “I’m not good enough.”
I had no idea.
Then, as I walked the beach alone the next day, God had another message for me.
He reminded me, “I made you. I was there, forming you exactly into the woman I wanted you to be. You are intricately, fearfully and wonderfully put together.” (Psalm 139:13-16)
There was more:
“My daughter, you are my work of art, my masterpiece. And I have great plans for you. I have created you for specific roles in building my Kingdom.” (Ephesians 2:10)
Just one more thing:
“Judy, you are good enough. You are more than good enough: You are exactly what I had in mind—the best you could be!”