How Long, Oh Lord?
Emotions. Passions. Sorrow. Joy. Loss. Birth.
I’ve been on the road for much of past four months—Estonia, Ethiopia, California, North Carolina, South Africa, Colorado, with brief stops at home. My body doesn’t know what time zone it is in. My stomach doesn’t know what country it is in. Sleep doesn’t know where to find me.
And during this time of much travel, there has been great emotional upheaval. A divorce in my very family. Sweet time with my sisters. A splintering among friends. The birth of my newest grandson. My heart and my mind struggle to absorb the wide swings of my feelings. Such pain! Such joy!
Yet my ministry goes on. I write. I speak. I meet. I care about people. I listen, I pray, I encourage. My passions for full engagement of women in the cause of Christ, for prodigals to return to their Father and receive mercy, for people to know and love Jesus, for women and girls to be free from sexual abuse and trafficking continue to vie for my attention….too many passions to try to tackle.
How long, Oh Lord?
I am weary. I think I need time to rest, to pray, to think, to listen, to grieve, to rejoice. To trust You.
Once again, the emotions of David serve me well:
My soul is in deep anguish. How long, LORD, how long? (Psalm 6:3)
How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? (Psalm 13:1)
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? (Psalm 13:2)
Relent, LORD! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants. (Psalm 90:13) (from Moses)
How long must your servant wait? (Psalm 119:84)
The Lord has heard my cry for mercy;
the Lord accepts my prayer. (Psalm 6:9)
I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise,
for he has been good to me. (Psalm 13:5-6)
And once again I return to the verse I have rested in over and over:
I am the Lord. In its time I will do this swiftly. (Isaiah 60:22)
Still I plead: May it be time.
What about you? About what are you asking “How long?”
C2012 Judy Douglass