I should have known it would happen. It almost always does.
The problem with writing and speaking and teaching is that God seems to want to check me out: Do I really believe this? Do I live this way?
So last week I wrote about “What I Do When Someone Hurts Me.”
And Sunday night my husband and I taught at church on unselfishness and humility in relationships.
So why am I surprised that today I got to live them both out together? I suppose I should be grateful He combined them into one opportunity for me to know if I am being authentic—walking my talking.
Someone who matters to me hurt me yesterday. Today I went through all five of my actions to take when I am hurt. One by one:
1. I told God my real feelings about it all. No holding back. Raw emotion.
2. I thanked Him–by faith–that He was in this situation.
3. I looked for some glimpses of good, and I actually found some—at least the potential for good.
4. I forgave the person who hurt me. Not hard to do.
5. I spoke blessings over this loved one. Also not hard.
Then I realized that I—in my selfishness, my holding on, my grasping—was part of the problem. I needed to humble myself, ask forgiveness and open my hand to the Lord, so He could give or take as He chooses. So I did, rather reluctantly.
All okay now? No. Not yet. But better. It is a process, a journey. Tears return. God has tissues. The open hand already wants to hold on tight. God’s grace entreats me to let go of my rights, my desires, my needs—and trust Him.
People say I’m known for my realness.
I guess God wants to hold me to that.
What about you? Has someone hurt you? Are you holding on to that hurt?
C2012 Judy Douglass
Ah, Judy, this IS so very much the REAL Christian life! As always, thank you for sharing and for being YOU. I like how you highlight the fact that the Lord gives us opportunities to prove our ‘talk’ with our ‘walk’. Talking is easy. Saying right words is easy. We have way too many good ‘talkers’, and even writers :-P. But, when life hits us from every side, living it out taxes the last ounce of spiritual energy. And this is the arena that the Lord is concerned about… not how impressive our speech and writing is, but how much of Him we allow to seep through as we are bruised and battered by life…
Hopefully seeping through, Gordana.
Thanks for being so real Judy!! It’s good to know that I’m not the only one under construction!
Constantly needing check ups.
Honesty is truly a key to freedom in our walk – honesty in our hearts, honesty before God, honesty before others. Thanks for reminding me that the ‘honest’ call is on all our lives, and we can expect to hear the bell at any moment.
I think most people think they aren’t spiritual if they are really honest with God. I think He loves real honesty.
Ahh, this IS real life. Thanks for sharing Judy
Yes, it is. Thanks, Cherry.
Thanks for sharing Judy! Standing still & and hurting is tough for me. I don’t have an outcome, that feels comfortable. I am relying or trying to rely not on my will but on the One who never gives up!
Others have already said it, Judy, but thanks for being honest about struggles in life.
I feel like I’m struggling with something most of the time…yet i also know God knows all that and is more fine with it than I am, so long as it draws me back to growing my dependence on him. It’s not about me coming to him feeling good about myself….
I love how you describe grasping hands. I also use that imagery…actually, I often open my hands when praying to release whatever i’m clinging to. I tend to think that leaving them open then, means i can receive his blessings.
I have been over sensitive lately, not much in reserve, grasping onto my hurts and supposed rights…and not all are reasonable even from a human perspective. That grasping gets in the way of communing with Him and I need rest from my sensitivity in his accepting and protective presence. I need to come with open hands. His unfailing love gives me courage to open up my wounds to him more and more quickly. I have quite a way to go yet but I yearn for greater openness with him. He’s given me a taste of peace and joy in him.
I also need to come from that place of refuge and actually engage in the situation with him. The steps you outlined are very real, challenging but doable.