Pain in Parenting: Interview at 4Word Women

4 Word…Women who work…love…pray:  Diane Paddison’s new web community for young professional women, and her book, Work Pray Love, provide community, encouragement, support and connection for working women who want to walk with God through all aspects of their lives.

I have the privilege of being interviewed on the 4Word Women blog today, talking about parenting and living, loving and learning through a prodigal child.

So click on over to 4Word Women to read my interview.  I would love your response:  How have your children stretched you spiritually?  Comment on post there, or come here to comment.

From the interview:

4word: Would you say that parenting stretches and grows your faith?

Judy: Parenting is probably the greatest faith stretcher there is. It reveals what’s inside us: our strengths and weaknesses.   We feel unbelievably responsible and totally inadequate…

continue reading

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Are You a Culture Rebel?–Guest Post

Culture Rebel.

I love this phrase and this concept.

I know I can be pretty rebellious.  I’ve always desired that my rebellion is not against God, or what should be, but against what shouldn’t be, or should be different.  I think that is usually true.

That’s what this Kindling blog is about—starting fires in hearts and minds.

But I know I still settle in comfortably to the culture of the world way too often.  I keep asking God to make me dissatisfied and uncomfortable with the way some things are.  And willing to try to help encourage change—in myself and in others.

So I was really excited when my new Redbud Writers Guild friend Connie Jakab launched her new site, Culture Rebel, this week.  I like what she is saying and where she is going.  I hope you will to.

So click on over to Culture Rebel to read her introductory blog post.  I think you will be glad you did!  And may it fan some flames in your life.

(The contest she offers is already over.  Sorry.)

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Open Hearts at Christmas

Christmas! Family time! Trees and decorations and carols and gifts. Traditions. Fabulous feasts.

And the time when more people are open to meeting the one we celebrate.
For many years now, women across the U.S. and around the world have used this festive time to invite neighbors in, serve them yummy goodies and open the conversation about the true meaning of Christmas.

Of course, this is best done in the context of ongoing relationship with those neighbors. But it is remarkable how people’s hearts are open to talk, learn, even meet Jesus.

My friend Joyce Bademan has been doing such Christmas Gatherings for several decades. She has recently put all the ideas and resources online—available free to you. Here is her invitation:

Are you looking for a Christmas program that effectively reaches outside of the usual social circles? Even if you thought that talking about Christ is something people just don’t do anymore with their neighbors and coworkers, Christmas Gatherings provide a unique opportunity in our culture.

During the holiday season, talking about Jesus as part of the Christmas tradition is a very natural thing to do. The question is “How can we make the most of this opportunity?”

Christmas Gatherings provide opportunities to talk about God’s gift through Jesus and invite people to Bible studies.

Now, the resources to host your own Christmas Gathering are right at your fingertips! A newly designed, easy-to-navigate website has been created to give you all the helps you need for a successful party!
Visit www.christmasgatherings.com/ to get started.

We are excited to offer you informative videos and links that answer just about every question you might have. These training videos are designed to give you step by step guidance from invitations, to speakers, to hosting, and much, much more.

Christmas Gatherings have spread across the nation – and the world – by word of mouth and by people like YOU sharing the idea with a friend. Often, it results in an opportunity to share the Good News of Jesus Christ in homes, churches, clubs or wherever women gather for a meal or dessert.

But this event is not just for women. It is a perfect opportunity for couples to gather for a holiday event with a purpose – to share an evening of fellowship, and the best news we can share at Christmas-time.

Won’t you consider forwarding this to your friends, your pastor and women’s ministry director – even to missionaries you or your church supports?

Or, consider hosting a gathering this year yourself. If you have already hosted a party, perhaps you could encourage a couple of friends to watch the training videos with you and HOST a party.

I look forward to hearing how you have used this unique tool.

Joyce Bademan

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Natasha’s Study: Secrets of Success

My sweet friend, Natasha, is a thinker, a leader, a Christ follower.  She reads and writes and converses with insight and wisdom.  So it is with great gratitude that I send you over to her blog, A Sista’s Journey.

She has given an encouraging review of my book Secrets of Success, recommending it for you to read, and especially to give as a graduation gift.

I wrote this book originally as letters to my children when they were in high school, encouraging them to make choices that would lead to success in living.  My children are all grown and married now, and for the most part living by these principles.  Very gratifying.

So hop over to A Sista’s Journey to read Natasha’s thoughts.

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View from a Gurney by Debby Thompson

Guest post by Debby Thompson

Debby Thompson has been on the staff of Campus Crusade for Christ for 36 years, 33 years living overseas.  In 1977, she and her husband Larry went with their infant daughter to live covertly behind the Iron Curtain.  Together with their 3 children, they have lived and served in Poland, Germany and Hungary. The past 18 years she has served as women’s ambassador alongside her husband, Director of Affairs, for the 18 countries of Eastern Europe & Russia.  Recently, they have transferred their leadership to a national couple from Poland.  And yes, she is a grandmother to 4 beautiful little girls!

“To jest chlopak!” (It is a boy!) With that declaration our son, David Lawrence Thompson, Jr. entered the world, April 6, 1979, a hearty 9 pounds, 141/2 ounces. Lying on the cold, hard gurney, I took in my surroundings. I was in a birthing ward in a communist hospital behind the Iron Curtain in Warsaw, Poland.

The long windows revealed that it was an early, cold, spring morning outside.  Around me women were in various stages of the birthing process, some behind curtains, some not. It all looked and felt like something out of a black & white World War II movie.

Only the birth experience itself and the nearness my husband seemed familiar. The language, the equipment, the smells, the sounds, even the dress of the attending medical staff were different. And the procedures were definitely different.  I was thankful to have arranged for a colleague to transport dissolvable stitches from the International Pharmacy in Vienna, having been told that none would be available.

Larry needed to leave; he would return with food & toilet paper, since the hospital could not provide supplies for its patients.  A sister (Polish for nurse) came by and asked it I would like of cup of tea! Definitely. I was keenly aware of how terribly much I missed my mother.  The tea would be soothing. By myself on the gurney, having just given birth in a land so far from my own, my thoughts floated back over the previous few weeks.
Larry and I had searched arduously for a doctor who would allow a husband to be present in the delivery room. Since this was Baby #2, we felt already trained in the method of natural childbirth. However, this was an outlandish request in the communist medical system, and we needed a Polish doctor to grant permission. Finally, and I say finally, 6 weeks before my due date, we found a professor doctor who gave the needed approval.  Though he was not even present and a midwife was just as involved as the attending physician, the professor doctor would later take full credit for the successful delivery.
Why would any woman want to add childbirth to her repertoire of cross-cultural experiences?  A very good question.  My bedrock answer then and now: the will of God.  Years earlier, as a student at Mississippi State University, I became involved with the organization of Campus Crusade for Christ. There I met a group of students who had a smile on their face, a spring in their step and a song in their heart. They were marching to the beat of a different drum and I wanted join their ranks.
Though I knew the Lord, it was in that season that I yielded to God complete control of my life and my future. I determined that Proverbs 3:5-6 would chart my life’s course, no matter what circumstances I was in or what insurmountable challenges I faced.  Larry’s marriage proposal had been, “Will you go with me in helping to reach the world for Christ?” My answer was “yes”-to the Lord, to him, and to a future of pioneer missionary living.
The ramifications of those decisions found me on that gurney in a communist hospital. I was not trying to be a heroine; I was not seeking to be a martyr.  I just wanted to be in the center of God’s will. I was fully convinced that was the safest place to be, and I knew that His will was good, acceptable and perfect. (Romans: 12:2).
A host of factors had led to our prayer-saturated choice. We had a little 3-year-old daughter to consider and we had a home of our own.  Any missionary will agree that, no matter where home is, it is home, even when the address is communist Poland. I did not want to have a baby while living transient out of a suitcase. Desperately I longed to bring our baby home to our home and the modest nursery we had prepared for him.  And that is what we did.

Fast forward to 2007. “What in the world were you thinking?” My son had just become a father & the story of his own birth was being re-visited. This is the son that was the first baby boy to be born to evangelical missionaries behind the Iron Curtain. He will never be able to be President of the United States; our constitution prohibits anyone being born outside its borders from holding that office.  But he will always have typed in his passport “place of birth” Warsaw, Poland. That to me is a very precious treasure. The Polish people are a remarkable people, and our family is supernaturally bonded to their nation.

But his question took me back to my view from the gurney where the cultural differences dominated, where the physical and emotional challenges were as real as my next breath.
There on that gurney, a holy awareness took place. I sensed the Presence of God. He was there with me; I was not alone. In an ocean of the unfamiliar, He was The Familiar. “If I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your Hand will guide me.” He did. (Psalm 139:9-10) “My Presence will go with you and I will give you rest.” He did. (Exodus 32) “In Thy presence is fullness of joy.” (Psalm 16:11)

Even on a gurney.

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Cape Town Recap 1: Your last thought before you die by Mary DeMuth

I haven’t had the privilege of meeting Mary DeMuth.  But I saw her name often in the tweets at the Lausanne Congress in Capetown.  When I saw this tweet, and read this post, I knew I wanted you to get to read it as well.  I trust it will have a deep impact on you.

Most of us on the South African Airways flight from Johannesburg to Dulles (Washington DC) were from the (Lausanne) Congress. A camaraderie bustled between us. I sat next to Andrew who works with businessmen. We had a great conversation, enjoyed dinner, then landed in Dakar, Senegal to refuel. Airborne again, we chatted a bit, then both went to sleep as it was late-late-late.

Suddenly the plane dropped wildly, my stomach lurching in the process. People around me gasped. For a split second I thought we’d experienced turbulence, but in the next moment, the plane’s nose dipped violently, eliciting more gasps and hollers from the people around me. It felt like we were falling from the sky.

I’m really not sure how long this lasted, probably a few seconds or more, but it moved in slow motion. I grabbed my chair. The natural word that flew from my mouth was Jesus. Then Jesus again. And again. A desperate, helpless prayer. In that moment, I thought I was going to die. (I’ve been on hundreds of flights. This has been the scariest incident to date.) I knew the cold Atlantic was beneath us, no safe place to land.

The pilot steadied the aircraft, but never once announced what happened. A friend who looked into it said, “Looking at the weather when you flew home, you flew into a major storm in the east that was producing the lowest barometric pressure ever recorded.”

Here is what my last thought was: I wonder if my final words to my family were encouraging. I remembered emailing/facebooking my daughters, son and husband. The sudden realization that even my written words meant something significant, particularly in light of eternity, sobered me. This is not a game, life. It’s real. It’s important. And what we do with the time we have will show our mettle, our verve, our commitment to the King we serve.

Life is a breath, a vapor. I did feel at peace in the moment our plane plunged. I knew I’d be with Jesus. But I so much, in that instant, wanted desperately for my life to count, for my words to reach people, for my sacrifice to be real.

All that to say, if God has given you a gift and has prompted you to use it for the Kingdom, why are you waiting? He has given me the gift of words (it is His gift; after all He is the Word and the author of The Word). What I do with them is the measure of my obedience. Even in the small ways I wield them–in short emails to my family, in the way I respond to a friend, in the books I write, and here on this blog that has become a sacred space for me.

Q4u: Have you ever faced death? What was your last thought? And did that last thought change your life today?

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Slaying the Green-eyed Monster

I am on an extended, very full trip and am not finding time to write the post I want to do.  So I am sharing a post from my good friend Barbara Francis.  Be blessed.

 

 

I’ve struggled with envy for as long as I can remember. I envied Wendy Petersmeyer’s flawless long hair in the fourth grade. I was jealous when everybody but me was invited to the end-of-the-year swim party at Betsy Martin’s house when I was finishing the sixth grade.

 

That was child’s play compared to how it has played out in my adult years. I have desired the spiritual gifts and talents others possess which I do not. I have envied other women’s long legs and been jealous of friends’ wealth. When I am in such a state I certainly cannot “rejoice with those who rejoice” and “mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). Instead, I’m thinking these talented, beautiful, rich ones have had it too good for too long! How ugly is that? Envy has all sorts of cousins, too: gossip, evil speaking, coveting, and condemning others in our hearts. It wreaks havoc in families, Bible study groups, churches, and staff teams. Frankly, I cannot think of one positive outcome of envy.

 

Below are 15 biblical texts on the varying forms of envy. Look at one or two a day, asking God, the Holy Spirit, to convict you where necessary. And don’t forget to thank him for the ways he has healed you of this vile condition. I will never get over the all-encompassing grace of God, will you?

 

Day 1: Psalm 37:1

Day 2: Psalm 73:3

Day 3: Proverbs 24:1

Day 4: Matthew 20:15

Day 5: Proverbs 3:31

Day 6: Proverbs 23:17

Day 7: Matthew 27:18 or Mark 15:10

Day 8: Mark 7:21-22

Day 9: Exodus 20:17 or Deuteronomy 7:25 or James 4:2

Day 10: Romans 1:28-32

Day 11: 1 Peter 2:1-3

Day 12: Galatians 5:19-21

Day 13: Galatians 5:26

Day 14: Psalm 106:16

Day 15: Proverbs 24:19

 

To read more by Barbara, click on Grace and Guts in my blogroll.

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Meet Nicole Unice–and Jonah

My life story is about the ongoing battle to choose God’s way instead of mine.  When I first saw Nicole Unice’s blog, The Stubborn Servant, I was sure I would identify.  And I did.   Then I heard about her study of Jonah–The Divine Pursuit–and again I connected.  So I decided to introduce you to her, and her look at Jonah.  She has written a great blog about both:

Nicole Unice

Becoming a counselor is a weird sort of schooling. What other graduate program teaches you how to listen, ask good questions, and read interpersonal dynamics? Who but future counselors study nonverbal cues, birth order, and “solution-focused questions?” Counseling techniques easily transform into entertaining party tricks:  “Let me guess,” I imagine saying to my unsuspecting acquaintance while swirling my drink, “your deepest fear is turning into your mother, whom you find yourself resembling more each day?”

There’s another side to studying therapist techniques. Developing questions that pry back even the hardest shell takes practice. And there’s only one person that accompanies me to sleep, to the bathroom, to work—other than my toddler. It’s me. I am the unwilling recipient of my own therapy.

So I paid attention when I got all emotional about the story of Jonah. Do you know him? The bible Jonah, the telling-God-N-O Jonah, the swallowed-by-a-fish Jonah? Think way back to Vacation Bible School. You probably sang a song about him or maybe smoothed him up on a feltboard next to a smiling whale.

Jonah disobeys and isn’t loving, or at least, that’s the point when we tell the VBS version. But when I prepared a teaching series for a women’s group on the book of Jonah, I found myself stirred up, almost resentful, of what Jonah had become in those children’s stories. Like Jonah is a flat caricature painted by a heavenly hand to make us feel good about ourselves. Hey, at least I didn’t have to be swallowed by a big fish to listen to God. At least I wouldn’t defy God like that.

I got emotional because I thought Jonah could have had some reasons for running. That maybe following God’s orders and going to Nineveh was something excruciatingly hard for Jonah, something that felt impossible to do.

And then the therapist in me listened closely and asked a piercing question: “Hmmm….interesting. What are your Ninevehs?”

Hmmm is right.

I pondered my own Ninevehs and the Ninevehs of those I’ve counseled. I thought about the pattern of fleeing, obeying and resisting God found in Jonah—and found in me. I considered the things in life that would make me want to lob a fat N-O in God’s face, modern-Day Ninevehs like:

Living joyfully in difficult relationships.

Struggling through a hard marriage (or waiting on a good one).

Fighting with addictions.

Battling fear.

Making peace with the past. Wrestling with unforgiveness. Learning to wait. Embracing uncertainity. Raising difficult children. Choosing to care for aging parents. Going back to work when you want to stay home. Having children. Not having children. And the list goes on….

Holy Spirit calling: Jonah is me.

Jonah is you, too, if you’ve ever wanted space from God. If you’ve ever escaped from Him in heart or in action. Jonah is you if you’ve ever wondered how or why God would talk to you—and if you would obey. I know one thing: Jonah’s not a platitude to mount on a cross-stitch and hang in the bathroom. It’s raw, real life. It’s one of the many things I love about God–the way He enters our disheveled reality. The way He knows our crazy souls. And the way He shows us His soul for us, and for all his creation.

If you can relate, take heart, and take another look at Jonah. You might just find a friend.

Nicole Unice is a counselor and blogger working in family ministry at Hope Church in Richmond, VA.  Her six-week guided study of Jonah, The Divine Pursuit, is available as a printed version or free download on her website. An online community using The Divine Pursuit begins 9/15.

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